nomad

I feel sick. Living a life of a nomad is so..not fun..it's unpleasant..it's irritating..it's boring..it seems endless..Babe..trust me it's so damn difficult to lead your everyday life knowing that..at the end of everyday, you don't have your direction, no specific place to go back to, bringing everything in the car cause you know you might need it at any time, sleepless nights, missing friends' weddings, blurrrrr most of the time..sad..angry..and keep thinking who's gonna be there to keep you company because most of the time you feel afraid out of nothing..Just a strange smell would trigger and make you feel so damn scared. Seriously, i think i need to get married so i can be with him most of the time with a big HALAL cop..I'm so thankful to Allah..at least i have him with me most of the time..He has been more involved with all these crappy things compared to those who supposedly be responsible to handle things ( and acted as if they do not have anything to do with it, unless they can see the big RM there awaited for them. Bloody hell!)..It has been one of the most extremely difficult month for me..plus all the 'unwanted'..'They' made it worst. Penat nye jadik ghost busters wei..Mind you, this is not our forte..We didn't apply for the position..We dislike it. The worst part is, it affected him and I in anyway possible..Me-worst.I feel afraid to be alone at anytime of the day...I just feel that i'm getting weaker by day..I have been trying very hard to be positive and fight all these but i feel i just can't win without the help from others..Just sick of all these..Alhamdullillah...Grandmother will be discharged this evening..God bless her and keep her safe at all time..InsyaAllah..and God..I'm just tired......