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        Everyday..as i lay down on my bed..i always think of what actually makes human feel contented..I think of myself and always ask myself..What makes me feel contented..n slowly it drags me to reflect on my hectic life..living to teach during the day..and to be taught at night..Believe it or not,most of the time i will cry..feeling tired over everything that i don't envy in doing and keep asking Allah..why am I on this path...I need signs to show me what good things that are hidden behind it as time makes me feel sick doing the things that i don't feel like doing at all..If we talk about pahala...I know..it's endless..Not to say..but, I never do my job half-heartedly even though it's not my passion..I deliver it as best as I could knowing it will have impact on my students' life later on..But then again..I'm so not happy and I really feel sick and I cried a lot when I know I've to do it again tomorrow (as if it's my first time doing it)..I feel terrible..It's not about money or anything..Basically, I demand for having the feeling that makes me jump out of my bed every morning and just can't wait to go to work..It may be anything..just anything that makes me feel happy at heart..I'm turning 26 this April..but I'm definitely blur on where is my life heading to..N..trust me..that is not a good sign for someone that is more than half of 50-years of age..I have plans..but the plans are again nothing close to teach between the four walls..it may still be teaching..maybe..But surely, it's to teach people other things rather than repeating the same thing over and over and over again until u feel like taping your own voice and there it goes,the next lesson it done!

        Dear readers...trust me that I have tried my best and I'm still trying to love the job..but so far..I haven't succeed..You may have heard all these from me (since the 1st year of my B.ed) but sorry guys..u still have to hear me talking about it until..the time comes when I've finally find my contentment...